collectedmemes | TEST DRIVE #1

Entry tags:

TEST DRIVE #1

Hi shoppers! Welcome to the first Test Drive Meme for COLLECTED. A few things before we get started:

» For the time being, our TDM’s are closed to those eligible to apply based on our invite system. This means that you must be on one of the mod’s plurklists, or invited as a +1 by someone on those lists. Thanks for understanding!

» TDM Threads will NOT be canon.

» Because of that, feel free to assume/handwave CR, and assume your character has been in the setting for a little bit.

» When the game opens, characters will be able to try their hand at going outside. But, during the TDM, all doors and windows to the outside will be locked, and characters will be unable to venture out there.

» These prompts are not exhaustive - feel free to make up your own within the setting of the mall! Anywhere on the Second Floor of the mall is free game. And if you have any questions about what you can and can’t do (or about anything else) reply to the QUESTIONS comment below, and we’ll get back to you soon.

Most importantly, have fun! And thank you so much for your interest in Collected; we’ve been so stoked over the turnout!! 🧡

PROMPTS

There’s one big problem about getting around the Mall - and no, it’s not the bottom floor that’s flooded.

The other huge problem that the dilapidated infrastructure causes aside from making everything smell weird and leaving tons of crumbled debris around is that at some points in the mall, it’s impossible to get across large gaps in the flooring where it’s fallen through to the waters below. In fact, to access the side of the mall across from where you are right now, there are no paths that are safe for walking across. But there is one way.

One attraction of the mall has stayed (mildly) in tact - and that’s a Hi Wire Bicycle. The one way across to the other side of the Mall is this rusty, dusty bicycle attached to a thick wire, with signs around the attraction describing how much the fare used to be to ride across - if you were daring enough, that is! Obviously, no one’s ridden across this thing in years - much less for the overpriced payment required.

More than that, it seems a little… less than safe. The net that probably provided mall-goers with some degree of self-assurance has aged, sagging and unraveling at the junctures of some of the knots. If you were to fall onto it, would it still catch you…? The wire affixed to the bike doesn’t seem too steady, either, not to mention how hard you’ll have to push against the rusted pedals to get them to move. As it stands, though, it’s the only way across to get to the Second Floor’s other half of stores. Luckily (or maybe unluckily?) there’s a seat for you and a friend. So, at least you won’t go down alone.

To make it across, you’ll have to be brave, be creative, and most of all, be lucky!

II.

A.
Near the heart of the food court, decorations for what used to be Santa’s village are still laid about. How many Christmases ago were these left here? By the looks of things, a lot. A thick coating of dust has settled on the nooks and crannies of what is supposed to be the elves workshop, alongside the seat where Santa must have sat to take pictures with children.

In the Elves’ Workshop, you’ll find a massive amount of animatronic elves. They’re all positioned to be working on toys, putting up decorations, or singing from carol books - it looks like these little guys were put here to perform for kids, not unlike an interactive (and more Christmas-y) version of It’s a Small World. There’s even un-opened (and therefore okay-to-eat!) boxes of chocolate chip cookies that must have been for the Mall-goers around Christmastime stashed inside an open cabinet, which was most definitely only for employees to access.

The only problem is that once you enter and make your way inside the workshop… something strange happens. Is something grabbing onto your clothes? Your hair? Maybe a stray finger? It’s the little wooden hands of one of the elves. Your first thought is that you just brushed past it and got caught on it - but, on the second thought, it’s not letting go. In fact, it’s grip is getting tighter. Painful, even. All while it smiles blankly ahead, eerily still aside from it’s tiny hand squeezing you. Take your eyes off these cheery boys and girls for too long, and you’ll realize they’re not staying put like good little elves - they’re moving closer to you only when they’re out of sight.

If you’re unlucky enough for several to latch onto you, you’d better ho-ho-hope someone can break you free.

B.
Outside the Workshop, more towards where the line to meet Santa would be, there’s a big snow machine. Unluckily for you, the machine’s sensors, which would have known to start putting out snow whenever people walk by, seem to still be working despite the Mall’s run-down state. As soon as you get near the thing, it starts spewing out tons of fake snow. It’s completely unlike the delicate sprinkling you’d find in a shopping center: it’s plain blasting you with the stuff, more like a hose than anything else. Too bad that the part of the machine that broke was whatever controlled the volume and speed of the snow instead of the sensors, right?

The fake snow is sticky and old, and will stick to you and the floor the more you get caught in it - better hurry and stop that machine!

C.
There’s a huge, luxurious chair that was most certainly reserved for the Santa employee in the center of the village area - tall and wide enough for at least a few people to clamber onto. Even though the paint is chipping off parts of the throne, and the wood is decaying in places - it still doesn’t look too bad, all things considered. Even the camera is still sitting in front of the chair, balanced on a tripod as though there were kids coming to take pictures with Santa today.

You’ll find that walking into the frame of the camera with more than one person causes the camera to go off. The camera will even print your picture, and never seems to run out of film - no matter how many times it fires. Did it catch your bad side, the first time? Feel free to try again! Dress up, find props, take pictures with your newfound companions to your heart’s content!

The only thing to be wary of is that in every few photos, someone else is in the photo. It’s a smiling, bright-eyed child, despite their transparency compared to you and your companion in the image. Judging by the sitting pose, and the performative smile, the added kid is none other than a reflection of a child who had taken pictures here with Santa long, long ago.

III.

With the size of the mall, and the variety of the stores inside, it’s only natural to think to forage for items that might be of use - there’s got to be something left behind here that will help you, right? Or a portal home?

Not too far from the department store you’d wandered in from, there’s a clothing store with an… interesting problem, for lack of a better word. The store has been overrun with rats. Big ones, too, scurrying about the floors and what’s left of the shelves, gnawing on what remains of the carpet and the remnants of cardboard packaging. Anyone sane would steer clear of this mess!

But, there’s something off about this store. Not only do all the rats somehow stay mysteriously contained within the walls of the store, never scurrying out of it, and with no signs of other stores being infested at all, but there’s also something that’s very familiar to you in this store. It could be a weapon, an item of clothing, or something as simple as your most favorite phone charm - point of the matter is, the rats have a hoard akin to a dragon’s behind the cashier’s counter, full of trinkets and belongings to all who have come through this place. They’ll work to keep their paws on what they have, too.

If you want your special something back, you’ll have to brave the vermin.

NAVIGATION

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Why does Felix allow himself to wind up in such stupid situations? Oh, right: because someone (re: Constantin) probably-definitely said something like, "It's perfectly alright to be afraid," and as Felix isn't afraid of anything, Felix just had to prove it. Thus, you know. This! Felix sitting stiffly in what is indeed a very uncomfortable seat, hands on his knees because he honestly has nowhere else to put them. The handles are grimy...

Also, it's better to white-knuckle grip his own damn self than risk, like, ripping something off this rickety-looking bike, so.]

Just— get on with it, [Felix snaps, and his voice totally doesn't have a brittle edge. No, sir.] And stop turning around! I don't need to look at you.

[And Constantin doesn't need to look at Felix, and this bike doesn't need to rock any more than it already has, and holy shit, can they go. He doesn't know how, but can they go.]

[Felix, who is white-knuckled and definitely makes a face every time Constantin turns all the way around and wobbles the whole operation, is definitely fearless. For sure. Constantin, for one, is so convinced. Perhaps he has enough fear and/or common sense for both of them, because Constantin totally trusts in the strength of that net.

Well, mostly. He raises his eyebrows, like, what is so wrong with looking at him!- but dutifully faces forward again... if only to look over his shoulder at Felix again not five seconds later, to see if he's really ready. Like, he's not touching... the handlebars? Perhaps he knows some secret.

Constantin grabs the front seat's handlebars and, after some more finagling with the foot placement that wobbles the bike yet again, he manages one complete revolution of rusty, squealing bike parts. The sound is piercing. If he had fillings, they would be rattling. It's horrid.]

You know— [they are now out in the air, and not without significant Wobble,] I daresay this is easier than it looks! I had wondered.

[Sorry that Felix is considering the very real fact that this bike looks like it's about twenty seconds away from shaking apart—but. Okay. He oh-so carefully leans back in his seat as Constantin figures things out, noting, like, what is working and what is not. His own feet are sitting on his own set of pedals, at least? He'd figures that much out on his own, but ah, yes, he sees now. These things move.

And make the worst fuckin' sound as they do, apparently. Goddess above. It's a good thing Constantin can't see Felix's wince—or the, mmm, way his eyes widen ever so slightly when he hears what Constantin has to say, because oh, that's...]

You didn't— [Hmm, no.] You don't know what you're doing?

[He'd been so, like! So confident! Felix assumed! And now Felix is leaning forward, gripping his own set of handlebars and trying not to think about the way this bike sways as he applies some pressure to his pedals.]

Well— no, but! [BUT!!!] There are only so many options, aren't there?

[Like, look at this Wheeled Device, it has pedals... It has seats... There are only so many places to put one's feet and those things move, so look, he's essentially taught both of them to ride a bike in record time.

It is very close to pitching totally to one side, but watch him lean the other way, as, you know, counterbalance. He knows how to not fall off of things, for sure.]

I have not toppled us to an early death, so— [Well! So!! That's all he's got.]

[Felix is high INT, low WIS, thanks—and now he realizes that he's made a tactical error? Now, as he looks down at the less-than-pleasant drop that awaits them. Excellent.]

Yet.

[Never mind the fact that leaning to the side is a smart move. Quick thinking! Felix grudgingly acknowledges this, in his heart of hearts; it's why he releases a slow breath, choosing to grip his handlebars extra tightly as opposed to unfairly snapping at the person before him.]

...We've yet to make it halfway across, [he gripes, summoning great courage!!! so that he can half-stand on these pedals that refuse to budge.] Move faster.

[He will be back here, just, you know. Trying to stomp on these pedals without turning the bike on its side, but it sure is shaking more than ever!]

[Everyone of Connie's points went into charisma and that's how Felix got here in the first place, confirmed. They are doing great, thanks--]

There's a net!

[Do not yet him, sir! There's a perfectly sound net right there! Constantin, who weighs about as much as an empty paper bag, will live if they fall onto this net. Felix and the bike... hmm. Who can say.

The bike that is shaking even more now, prompting Constantin to let go of one handlebar to wave his hand pointedly over his shoulder, hello!! Stop stomping!!!]

Whatever you're doing back there is making it much more difficult to concentrate!

[If Felix falls, Felix is toast. Felix knows this. Felix foresees this, and thus Felix grits his teeth, doing his best to ignore the fact that they are far too high in the air as he attempts to put his full weight on these pedals. He wants to be on solid(ish) ground ASAP, and that means he needs to contribute.

And, like, not tip them over in the process, but. Keep leaning, Connie...]

These things... won't move, [he grunts, standing up just a tad straighter.] How did yours—

[But that's lost in the screech that is the pedals finally, blessedly giving way, sending the bike lurching forward—and Felix lurching forward, as well, his forehead colliding with the back of Constantin's poor, defenseless, very hard head. Can we get a yeehaw...]

What could you possibly— [be doing, he'd like to say, but before he can twist around to look there's the unmistakable sound of pedals screeching and Felix's head smashes into his, so actually, he's not saying anything for a long moment here. He jerks forward, scrambling through seeing stars to grab the handlebars with both hands again and re-balance this stupid bike—]

Ow!

[Just ow!!!!]

I'm— I am starting to feel queasy, but surely it's nothing!

[He's dying, take responsibility.]

[Smacking into Constantin is, ah, less than pleasant? Felix sees stars—but there's also the vague notion that the bike is leaning much too far to one side, hence Felix's muttered curse as he copies Constantin's earlier move, leaning to the opposite side so quickly as to send his head spinning. This was definitely not what Felix had in mind...

...But hey? His pedals are unstuck now? That's a pro, surely—and Constantin's claim of queasiness is a definite con, so.]

You're fine, [he can't help but to snap, but he takes another deep breath? Ignores the ache in his own head as he settles back and forces himself to say, somewhat quieter:] It will pass. Keep your focus on the other side.

[On moving and not upchucking, @ the Goddess, please. And maybe there's a twinge of... something akin to guilt? Or shame, for being so foolish. Either way, Felix gives an experimental turn of his pedals, sending them a bit farther forward. It's a choppy movement that Constantly surely loves.]

Can you keep going?

[He's gonna vom Panda Express everywhere and it will be Felix's fault? No, probably not, but hoo boy, the bike continuing to jerk and wobble even worse is doing him no favors—]

I think so, yes‐ If I endeavor to keep my eyes shut, I will be just fine!

[He sounds, hmm, a little strained, but he'll live through it. Do not bother him about keeping his eyes open or he will riot. He will focus spiritually!!]

This adventure is becoming a hassle... [ :( ]

[The joy of being on a wire who knows how far up in the air is that there's only, like, one way to go? No steering required, thank goodness. One tiny blessing.

But oh, don't make Felix feel a tiny twinge of guilt. Not that he could help the fact that his pedals refused to budge, but—well! Well. Better to focus on the word choice, there. "Adventure." Boy, how bad was that blow to the head...]

This is hardly an adventure, [Felix grumbles, going for another painstaking rotation of pedals that propels them forward,] but when has it been anything but a hassle?

[Since waking up in the gross water, he means, but please, take that as you will. Felix is too focused on getting (this person) to the other side to fuss over word choice.]

[It has been an adventure since minute zero, thank you Felix for your Opinion. Constantin scoffs and waves a hand dismissively over his shoulder; it is very much a grand adventure and he doesn't want to hear objections from someone who just conked him in the head as hard as Felix did.

So: squeaky pedaling, while he does in fact shut his eyes and so misses out on the exciting second half of wobbling this contraption across to safety.]

I would rather toss myself onto the net below than argue with you while my head aches. Put a pin in it for another time!

[Take him to Jamba Juice and he'll listen to any bitching that comes his way, but now is not the time, sir.]

[Felix will be here forever, please enjoy his Sunny Outlook™. Also please enjoy his Attitude, because while he does, in fact, feel slightly bad about essentially cold-clocking this frail-looking man—and while he does, on some level, appreciate this sass—he also thinks that this frail-looking man... should toughen up. So, muttered almost, but not quite, under his breath:]

Less weight would make it easier to get across.

[Love him as he is, etc etc. At least he is pedaling them across this ravine without complaint? Leaning this way and that way as he does so, trying not to think about what awaits below...

...Because hey, look at that. They are almost there!]

Have you opened your eyes yet?

[If he were not recovering from his grievous injury, Constantin would take this moment to turn around and gasp dramatically for that comment. Sir, he will flip this bike completely over if he must. Don't be rude.]

I have not, no, and I do not intend to until I can feel the solid floor beneath me once more.

[Which is, at this point, an arbitrary declaration made only a little bit out of spite. Can one sulk on a bike with one's eyes closed? Yes.

And okay, after about ten more seconds he does open his eyes, but he's not going to just come out and say it. Suffer, Felix, for he is not turning his head At All.]

It seems you will have to be my guide from back there, lest we turn this contraption over at the most inopportune moment.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TEST DRIVE #1

can't believe connie finally kills felix

they had a good run of two tags this time

honestly, i'm impressed... they're thriving

are they tho

they're on a bicycle built for two... they sure are

shutting my eyes...forever

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject