collectedmemes | TEST DRIVE #2

Entry tags:

TEST DRIVE #2

Hi shoppers! Welcome to the second Test Drive Meme for COLLECTED. A few things before we get started:

» This TDM is open to any players who are interested in applying. Collected is an invite-only game, meaning that invites come from being on the mod plurklists, but for this round, our TDM is open to anyone who has an interest. If you are interested in applying but do not have an invite, please PM our mod account (

collectedmods) with a link to your toplevel on this TDM and we will extend an invitation to you! Please note that you can only reserve and apply if you have an invite.

» As was the case in the first TDM, TDM threads are not canon. Because of this, feel free to assume CR for the ease of threads.

» While we’ve listed out some prompts here, feel free to make up your own prompts using the setting, or use any of the prompts from our last TDM as well!

» If you have any questions about what you can and can’t do (or about anything else) reply to the QUESTIONS comment below, and we’ll get back to you soon.

Most importantly, have fun! And thank you so much for your interest in Collected! 🧡

PROMPTS

Have you ever been to a parking lot circus? Well, they exist, and you’re in luck - the circus has come to town! Or rather, it’s come to the mall. For a limited time, a big top has appeared in the dusty, desolate parking lot of the mall. You’ll find a big tunnel vacuum sealed to the front doors of the mall that allows access to and from the tent, so how much could it hurt to go inside?

The tunnel and tent seem to have been crafted with the same skill as the mall was - it somehow keeps the toxic air from outside out. The only difference between the mall and the tent is that the big top doesn’t do as good of a job of keeping the blistering heat out - it’ll protect you from burns, but it’s going to be pretty hot in there underneath the summer sun! Be sure to bring a cold drink on your way in.

Inside the tent, you won’t find any staff or performers, unfortunately. Everything inside the tent seems to be in mint condition, though, strangely enough, as though restored to its former glory - not unlike how some of the stores in the abandoned mall revert back to their pristine states sometimes. While there’s no performance to catch, there is plenty to look at and experience:

I.

Right after coming in through the fun tunnel, the first thing to your right is a collection of popcorn machines, the same kind you’d see at an amusement park where kernels must be poured in. You’ll find several unmarked bags of popcorn right near the machines, and they look decidedly not rotten, unlike most of the food in the mall.

Things are never that easy and simple here, though! Pop a bag of these bad boys and consume some of it and you’ll find yourself with one of the following afflictions:

A. Caramel corn flavor: Loss of sight. Hopefully you trust your companion enough not to attack or steal from you, because you’ll need to navigate to somewhere safe until this one wears off!
B. Extra butter flavor: Loss of hearing. No matter how hard you try, it seems you can’t hear anything around you anymore! Learn to communicate non-verbally with your companion, and quick!
C. Cheddar flavor: Literally just food poisoning. You won’t be feeling so hot!

The only saving grace of these cursed popcorn bags is that there’s an antidote to be found if you have a careful eye: an inscription on the popcorn machines appears once they’ve been warmed from use, and it says, in the case of illness, have a taste of each flavor to get back to square one! You’ll have to suffer a bit more to get back to normal quickly, but.. it’s better than waiting out the effects, right?

II.

While there are no performers to be seen, their costumes can be found in the wardrobes in the back of the circus. They are typical of what you’d expect of a circus: colorful, frilly, and easy to put on, given their stretch. There are even props and accessories lying around like clown noses, jewelry, hula hoops, juggling balls, the whole nine yards. Given the horrible state of all the clothes and other fun items inside the mall, it might be tempting to take some of these outfits and items to repurpose them for your own wardrobe and use.

But be careful: donning these clothes or taking these items will give you the abilities of that circus performer. Wear or pick up anything belonging to a:

A. Clown, and you’ll feel like you need to make your companion laugh. Whether that’s through corny jokes, physical comedy, or other means, you won’t be able to resist.
B. Trapeze artist, and you’ll be blessed with great flexibility, and feel utterly fearless. Maybe that translates into being unafraid to speak your mind, or maybe you’re feeling brave enough to walk the tightrope - either way, nothing’s scaring you anymore.
C. Animal tamer, and you’ll want to train your companion to do tricks and follow your will (and not in the fun way, unless you’re into that).

Costumes of all kinds are here, though, so feel free to find anything that might belong to a circus performer and have the costumes possess you!

III.

All good things must come to an end, sadly. Whatever material the tent and tunnel is made of is not completely as sturdy as what the mall is built of - and after a fun day of activities, the tent and tunnel will begin to deteriorate and be destroyed.

Due to the radioactive sun outside, the top of the tent and tunnel will start to burn and get holes in it eventually, which will let in toxic air and harmful rays - not only that, but fires will start catching inside the tent as well. You’ll need to high tail it out of the circus and head back to the safety of the mall unless you want to fry in the horrible conditions outside. Exposure to the sunlight from outside will give you painful burns and welts, and it’s near impossible to inhale the thick, poisonous air from outside without keeling over.

While you’ll be able to survive limited exposure, it’s not wise to get stuck out here. Besides, you’ll find that upon returning to the mall, your wounds will mysteriously begin to heal, slowly and painfully. So, run quickly, and make sure not to leave anyone behind!

NAVIGATION

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

He's not human. But he doesn't feel like a Dead creature, or have the telltale stench of Free magic. Or any other sort of magic, despite the glowing light at his temple.

Sabriel takes a a few deep breaths, clearing the air from her lungs, and mentally assessing her own injuries- they're painful, but not serious, though she should find some bandages.

"I didn't want you to burn to death!"

She scrutinizes him, a little more closely as she keeps catching her breath. He's clearly not dying, but beyond that she can't tell how serious his injuries are.

"Are you hurt?" She's not even sure what she is- would healing spells even work on him? But some part of Sabriel wants to try anyway.

[ Keith has gone hungry enough times to know that you don't just ignore an opportunity to hoard food. Technically he doesn't even like popcorn that much, but you wouldn't really be able to tell from how he's busy filling up the machine with all those tasty kernels.

Sure there's a ... goth (?) chick standing on the other side of the machine, but he'll pay her no mind until she specifically addresses him. ]

... Sun magic spell?

[ He repeats this with obvious incredulity while the first kernels start popping off. He gives her an expectant look. She's trolling him right? Definitely trolling. ]

[Deadpan.]

Indescribable self-loathing?

( the first of the spear-like arms scythes directly over the duplicate's head, cutting a furrow through the stagnant air, which was significantly less interesting than through the trachea and carotid artery. the second similarly whiffed, as it dropped low enough to the ground that both soared ineffectually over it.

annoying. she had heard these things were nimble, but more in the "made out of amorphous slime" variety, not in the "trained, tiger-like reflexes" category.

the second construct is punished similar to the first, though the tibia and fibia have already reformed themselves to bridge between the cluster of bones at both the knee and the ankle before both of the former had hit the ground. it gets back up as the first skeleton approaches to close the distance the doppelganger had wrangled — though, for now, neither attack. they threateningly brandish their sharpened arms, but they do not swing or thrust.

instead, harrow steps forward, deciding to indulge in her own curiosity — mostly because the points of interest were things that pricked far too closely and uncomfortably to the shriveled, monstrous thing she calls a heart. )

Where ( she begins, voice cutting, acerbic, ) did you get those.

( it wouldn't surprise her if this place was dredging up items from their past to confuse or to torment them. it was basically its M.O. if it had brought to her her diary, her face-paints, and other personal items, why couldn't it find things that had belonged to her cavalier?

and yet — )

[ah.

rin has a few first degree burns that mar her skin, but it was something she thought that she'd be able to handle herself, whether through magic or choosing to heal naturally. but the crystals in her palm are oddly familiar, and she gives a nod in recognition for what was done for her.]

I appreciate it.

[though a bit curiously - ]

You'll give this for free?

[ this isn't how she envisioned this going. none of this is. it's not that far off - with harrow's brain as completely turbofucked as it is, she's mostly surprised that she even recognizes the glasses. fuck. did she give them to ortus? did ortus fucking nigenad get her glasses? there aren't even words for how much this sucks.

but the skeletons aren't trying to julienne her right now, and she's no- well, she's an idiot but she's not completely dense. if harrow's going to give her a chance, she's going to take it. the blade lowers even further, its tip touching the ground in a clear disengagement, and she calls out to the knife-like, black-and-slightly-lighter-black blob that she assumes is harrowhark nonagesimus: ]

Imported them all the way from Lycma Cava.

[ there. and now that she's left with absolutely no doubt that harrow will either recognize her or murder her on the spot, she grimaces and continues- ]

They were in the letter you wrote. The one Tridentarius was holding onto. [ and then, like she's just remembered some tremendous grievance from a fight two weeks ago, she stubbornly adds- ] You know she thinks you fancy her? She thinks she actually stands a chance with Harrowhark fucking Nonagesimus. Absolutely delusional. I told her off, no need to thank me.

[ there! now she's left with no doubt that harrow will attempt murder regardless of whether she recognizes her.

the sad thing is, it's the closest thing to familiar she's had in about nine months. ]

Edited 2020-08-09 06:47 (UTC)

( at the retort, the black-and-slightly-lighter-black blob recoils, rocking back onto her heels as if she had been struck. not necessarily by a blow, no, but by a realization that hit her like a sturdy piece of collapsing ceiling.

even if they were wrapped in the trappings of her own vocal timbre, she couldn't mistake the haphazard cadence or the atrocious diction for anyone else. her mouth drops open ever-so-slightly, and her dark eyes widen beneath the shadow of her hood. )

— Nav?

( she spares her her typical nickname, though of course not going so far as to call her by her actual name (that was something reserved for 1) her deathbed and 2) the very end of the Nine Houses itself). she continues, but harrow is scrambling to keep up. letter — what letter? and which tridentarius?! why by God's own name would she entrust something to one of them? harrow had started to approach with quick, staccato steps, but she stops dead in her tracks at the word fancy. her eyes widen again, and somewhere in the human meat hidden beneath a thick layer of alabaster and charcoal, blood flushes, blossoming into an intensely uncomfortable warmth.

at around this time, the two skeletal constructs back off a pace or two, lowering their arms and looking at one another blankly.

she has far more questions than she can feasibly put into words in the increasingly-short period of time before she implodes. but she sets all of those errant things aside for now, resuming her approach and focusing on the issue that is far, far more pressing to her (so much so that it whips her up into an uncharacteristic, feverish frenzy): )

Stop. Listen. What are you doing in my body?! — Get out of it — right now!

( this is probably her worst lapse in composure since their moment of dizzying vulnerability and confession in the saltwater pool in canaan house, but, listen. she would need the help of an industrial volumetric shit compressor to help her deal with everything she is processing in this single moment, and she is unfortunately and sorely without. )

Huh. Nice.

[It's probably rude as hell, but whatever. Abbacchio is reaching over and grabbing a handful of that caramel popcorn before popping a few into his mouth. Definitely not asking for permission or anything here, less because he's robotist and more just that he's kind of a dick. PLus, he's hungry, food's been low, and he's a lot less picky about his life choices even if they're garbage choices.]

You taste test everything before you eat it?

[Ever since the doppelganger bullshit and people going missing, Abbacchio hasn't made much of a habit of checking down here much anymore. It's been awhile and he probably should stop being cooped up in his little corner of the mall, plus the flask is running low.

Maybe he'll get lucky and find something.

Instead, as he reaches the top of the escalator, he peers down and sees someone moving away from the contaminated water. He sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose.]

Fuck.

[Hopefully no one violent. Their makeup job is kind of sick, though.]

Hey. You hurt?

Kinda? Well, that just means I'm gonna have to try harder.

[ he's not going to quit until his sole audience doubles over with laughter, okay. he clears his throat, and: ]

So a doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss." The patient said, "Oh no, Doctor. What's the bad news?"

[ eh? ehh?? did he do good now? ]

[ it's pretty hard to ignore someone like cinnabar, the only one who's remotely nonhuman in this dinky place they're in. figaro's intrigued by the gem, not gonna lie, which is why he tried getting their attention with a okayish joke.

which fell flat, apparently. oof. well, he's not embarrassed at least. ]

Did you not get the joke? I'd gladly explain it if you didn't.

Edited 2020-08-09 09:54 (UTC)

It wouldn't benefit me if I started making everyone pay for my services, right? Especially at a time like this.

[ a good, altruistic doctor like him wouldn't do that. even he's not that cruel. ]

Every wizard from my world learned how to do magic by making sugar first. It's not as easy as it looks.

[well.

it could possibly benefit him, depending on what he sought after as compensation, but she supposes that she can see the merits in being generous sometimes too.]

Well, you do have my gratitude.

[polite is easy.]

I wouldn't presume it to be easy or simple - does it require a great deal of energy?

It's more of trying to get the shape and flavor right. It's common for a child witch or wizard to create flavorless sugar or even sugar water while practicing their magic. Though the only difference is that it doesn't usually hurt when I try making some...

[ he balls up a fist as he tries to make more sugar, wincing as a searing pain shoots through his hand. he does manage to create some, though it's not much. ]

--Just like that.

Edited 2020-08-09 09:33 (UTC)

Also a possibility.

[He opens a hand, gesturing pointedly across the line.]

Well?

Exhale overheated fumes. Inhale cool air. Snap back at the human.

"I'm not alive!"

It's a simple procedure. The Critical threshold warnings fade away slowly, and Connor pushes up off the wall, LED spinning down to yellow as he turns to more properly address his 'rescuer'.

"As basic reading comprehension would tell you—" a hand jerks up, tapping sharply at his jacket "—I can't be 'hurt'. So if you thought—"

Connor is a machine. He isn't alive. He can't die. And whether he's shot or hit or lit on fire—however distracting the error flags might be—he knows he can't experience pain.

Still, his LED jolts back to red. Still, the words cut off with a small stutter of inhaled breath. The melted, damaged synthetic skin across his face... smooths, reforming faster than it should, and he stiffens.

It—hurts.

Edited 2020-08-09 11:45 (UTC)

[It's not Connor's popcorn. If it weren't for the commentary, he wouldn't have cared in the least. As it is, he glances over, hand lowering to wipe the remaining residue against the table's edge.]

I don't eat.

[As he thinks should be quite obvious. Connor watches the human shoving his own face full of the substance, and his eyebrows lift.]

You might want to consider it.

[Usually, Gwendolyn would be right there with her. She's a fairly serious and sometimes just a little bit of an awkward person, but something's compelling her to be otherwise right now. Something hat shaped.

Unfortunately, it hasn't affected her general demeanour at all, so she delivers the punchline earnestly and totally flat:]

Tweetment.

[TA DAH.]

Give him a big hand, folks. He gave it a shot.

[THERE IS NO AUDIENCE. THERE IS NO APPLAUSE.

But with how earnestly she says it, it could be easily misinterpreted as sarcasm.]

Unfortunately, sir, that would be ill-eagle.

Fuck!

[She inhales and looks across the tightrope. She can do this. For some reason most of her brain thinks she can do this. The rest of her brain is confused at why the fuck she thinks she can do this.

Then, per usual for Abby, she just fucking goes for it. Surprisingly, she crosses the tight rope as if she were crossing the street. Easy, casual. Once she gets to the other side, she firmly grips the pole and looks across.]

Holy shit, Le-

[Wait. Lev isn't here. She forgets that sometimes.]

I can't believe I did that.

[OOF. It's bad. It's so bad, but she kinda smiles anyway.]

That's... so bad it kinda goes all the way back around to being funny. I'll have to tell that one to... Well, I'll keep it in mind to tell someone back home. Maybe work on the delivery though.

Unfortunately, comedy isn't what I would consider something I excel at.

[She sighs, but she isn't really down about it. Gwen doesn't care about being funny or not.

Still feeling compelled to do it, though.]

But I will take your advice. Should I smile more, perhaps?

Well, that's kinda weird, but also really convenient for the rest of us.

[It seems at least that the concept of this guy not eating is the least of Abbacchio's worries. He shrugs, munching away.]

Those of us that do eat can't be too picky here. So nah, I think I'm good. Caramel's not my first choice but whatever.

[That one gets a chuckle out of her and a head shake.]

Actually, short term memory loss is-[Wait, Abby. This guy doesn't care. Or well probably not about these technicalities.]

Sorry. My parents were doctors so sometimes I get too into the medical stuff.

[ she recognizes her. whatever it is harrow's done to herself, whatever it is that's making her ears ring and blood trail lightly down her beskulled face, if nothing else, she recognizes her right now. relief spreads through her chest like a wound, staining everything in its path a deep, painful, intensely metaphorical red, and gideon manages to pull herself together long enough to say: ]

That’s not what your mother said last night. [ you can take the nav out of the cavalier, but you can't take the cavalier out of the necromancer. something like that? maybe less sexy. she'll have to workshop it. either way, she's not in immediate danger of dying anymore, and that's such an improvement that she even answers harrow's actual question: ] Like hell I will, Nonagesimus. "None flesh with left end" doesn't really roll off the tongue.

[ it's a flippant answer, but an answer anyway. and even more than that, it's a genuine answer. not that harrow might recognize it for what it is. what will harrow recognize...?

just what the fuck is going on here? ]

Edited 2020-08-09 17:58 (UTC)

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 2 of 6

TEST DRIVE #2

no subject

popcorn

no subject

no subject

sweeeet escape

no subject

no subject

A

arrival

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject